What’s “Taters,” Precious?
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April 14th, 2008

What’s “Taters,” Precious?

“Po-Ta-Toes!”

This is one of those comics that I didn’t have to write, because it just happened. Josh wanted to kill me and be done with it. He said I couldn’t be trusted and there was nothing left but evil in me, but Eli wouldn’t let him do it. Eli had to believe that there was hope for me, because that would mean there may still be hope for him. He recognized that we shared the same burden. We had both been forever changed by The Lord of the Rings Trilogy marathons on TNT HD.

In the end I bit off Josh’s finger when he tried to take the remote and change the channel.

This comic is also a shout out to the listeners of the HijiNKS Ensue Podcast. If you want to be in on all the fun times, download a podcast or subscribe to the feed. Then you will get all the super secret inside jokes.

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^ 85 Comments...

  1. Last Temptation of the Geek « Faust’s Fantastically Fantasmagoric Forum

    [...] 2, 2008 · No Comments From Joel Watson’s Hijinks Ensue [...]

  2. » 25th June Weekly Roundup

    [...] if you didn’t notice). Seriously into Hijinks Ensue of late. Go there and read for a while (start here [not so much work-safe], if you’re so inclined). And in the less lighthearted, more [...]

  3. » 25th June Weekly Roundup

    [...] if you didn’t notice). Seriously into Hijinks Ensue of late. Go there and read for a while (start here [not so much work-safe], if you’re so inclined). And in the less lighthearted, more [...]

  4. adam_myatt8577

    In the third panel it looks like you've got a sweet handlebar mustache and kinda reminds me of Danny Trejo… Maybe I'm way off on that.

  5. john_darc6624

    Why am I always logged out of Intense Debate, but then I go to ID, and I'm signed in? Lamezors.

    Also, "Boil em, mash em, stick em in a stew!"

  6. Meredith

    I think this is my favorite HE ever… because it was pretty much exactly like my weekend.

  7. rerun7088

    Fellowship was the best by far, I've seen them way too many times to want to see them in HD though…

  8. iptydafu8334

    You've never seen hd until you've seen it on a 19", 12 year old magnavox. -It's so clear, it's like a window.

  9. Sumit

    A couple of my friends went to see the LOTR trilogy in a local theater day before yesterday. They were doing a special of all three movies starting at noon and running until 11pm with a dinner and snack included. They wanted me to go and I was like "Dude, for one, I could just download it in HD and watch it on my projector. Second, I'm not a big enough loser to sit in a theater for eleven hours straight"

    It was a beautiful day outside too. Weather was in the 70s. Day after the temp dropped back down to 50 due to the cold front. I should have sent them a text message during the movie: "It is a beautiful day outside and guess who's not stuck in a movie theater"

  10. demiakumu7096

    ok, wheres the topless comic shop?? Oh god, I hope its a female staff…

  11. bhaelochon

    "Lovely big golden chips with a nice piece of fried fish."

  12. sarcastodon8526

    This happened to us this weekend, too. Basically, given the current scheduling pattern of TNT, it happens to us about once every three weekends. I wouldn't complain, if they do it with the original Star Wars trilogy every few months, too.

  13. Orf

    Does anyone ever really grow out of the couch fort?

  14. Chadd

    topless comic shop? Oh hellll no. Hell no.

    and deathstar is "Death Star". *sighs*

    but, um, LOTR in HD… yes, s'good.

  15. fraktruck8125

    But this is HDTV. It's got better resolution than the real world!

  16. Chad

    Ah, the wonders of HD. I had a similar experience playing Oblivion on my shiny new 22 inch HD monitor.

    Also, boil em mash em stick em in a stew.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H8tt6zH-5ao

  17. king_zilch6474

    Joel Watson is…MACHETE!

    "They just fucked with the wrong Mexican…"

  18. king_zilch6474

    I did pretty much this same thing when Universal HD had a Battlestar Galactica marathon. This was before Comcrap offered the Sci-Fi channel in HD (which is crapular quality anyway), so it was like a whole new show. And that was how I got my wife into it.

    True, and somewhat self-aggrandizing, story: when Battlestar premiered, my wife was the manager of a Pier 1 Imports in Vancouver. Most of the dishes and furniture you see on the show (in the early seasons, at least), was provided by her store.

    Okay, so it was more wife-aggrandizing than self-aggrandizing, but the point is that there's the hope, however slim and unlikely, that I'll get to see my wife make out with Tricia Helfer, and isn't that every geek's ultimate dream?

  19. andy5527

    No. Emphatically no.
    http://xkcd.com/219/

  20. adam_myatt8577

    Or the Sphere of Fear as I like to call it.

  21. adam_myatt8577

    Was the showing on spike not in HD? I think they were when it was on Showtime last summer.

  22. aaron6928

    If someone ever did the unaltered Star Wars trilogy in HD I doubt I would ever leave the house and I would be poor from buying the best HD set up money can buy.

  23. Orf

    But a topless comic strip on the other hand…

    (mantits! mantits!)

  24. hijinksensu5337

    Im turning into a Gollum, not a mexican vampire.

  25. hijinksensu5337

    Im going to ask for ID issues later this week. Save em up and Ill submit them all at once.

  26. hijinksensu5337

    I think it was every geek's weekend. It possible there was nothing new added to the internet between Friday night and Sunday because we were all fixated on TNT.

  27. hijinksensu5337

    Um. No. Seeing them in HD is like seeing them for the first time.

  28. hijinksensu5337

    Im sure. In the same way Goatse is like a window.

  29. hijinksensu5337

    Before parenthood, you might have been able to talk me into that outing.

  30. hijinksensu5337

    Uh…. its in dallas. and its a secret. Theres a handshake.

  31. hijinksensu5337

    One of the cable channels (Spike maybe?) is doing it with all 6 Star Wars next weekend.

  32. hijinksensu5337

    I would go camping with just three couch cushions. All the other suckers would be stuck in tents. Like idiots.

  33. hijinksensu5337

    Bah. Ill fix it. IT WAS 4 AM!

  34. hijinksensu5337

    Better Elves too.

  35. hijinksensu5337

    Makes you not miss the days of 15" CRT's at 640X480 one bit.

  36. hijinksensu5337

    My dream is to see YOUR wife make out with Tric… nevermind. That is a cool story though. Vancouver is like Cold Hollywood minus all the bullshit.

    And yes, Scifi HD looks MUCH worse than standard DVD quality.

  37. Rudyard Kippers

    Same here, only in flu induced fever-o-vision. With 3D hallucinations.

  38. john_darc6624

    it's cause I'm awesome. anyway, I wonder if Joel's heard that song, the LOTR "what's taters?" remix.

  39. larnsturt6109

    Seeing them with exchange students from Hungary (I shit thee not) is like seeing them for the first time.

  40. larnsturt6109

    Oh yes, Rule 15. I forgot.

  41. king_zilch6474

    Trejo would be the most badass vampire evar. Was he in From Dusk Til Dawn?

  42. azzfro7958

    This comic says two things to me.

    The first is, I'm pretty sure that if joss showed up at your house, and was filming a shot for dollhouse, and Nathan was there too, that means Capt. Tightpaints is going to be on dollhouse.

    The second is, you’re a beautiful liar. Not because Nathans not in dollhouse. (At least not that I’ve heard), but because if Joss showed up at your house he would have shoved his way past your cohorts and landed on the couch next to you. Then we would be looking at hellmouth sized delay in the production of dollhouse. So expect that zombie crowd of Whedon followers to show up at your house. It would probably be a lot like Aragorn at the end of “The Two Towers”, only Gandalf, Eomer, and two thousand Riders of the Rohirrim don’t show up to save you.

    I bet Danny Trejo plays one of the Whedon Zombies.

  43. orclev5734

    Am I the only one that would sell their first born for Machete to be one of the movies picked for Grind House 2? That and either a totally new one, or the Werewolf Women of the SS, mostly just to see Cristopher Walken play Fu Man Chu.

  44. orclev5734

    Dr. Venture: What the hell was that!
    Brock Sampson: Chupacabra. They've got them all over the place down here.

    I love that series.

  45. orclev5734

    I don't watch TV (usually, exceptions are made on occasion for MythBusters, Good Eats, and Deadliest Catch). I fail. I suppose I could repent and watch my extended edition DVDs, but I don't have a blueray player yet, or blueray copies, so it's still not HD.

  46. orclev5734

    Warning: Wachowski Vision™ is not compatible with fever-o-vision. Should you accidentally use Wachowski Vision™ while using fever-o-vision, dial 911, and assume the party escort submission position. A party representation will be along to collect you shortly.

  47. orclev5734

    Best. Sign. Evar!
    http://imgs.xkcd.com/blag/ball_pit_rules_400.jpg

  48. king_zilch6474

    It just so happens I work with a guy from Hungary. I will try this at my first opportunity.

  49. Vic

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Machete_(film)
    Can't wait cause the trailer was totally badass an

  50. Vic

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Machete_(film)
    Can't wait cause the trailer was totally badass and really see that huge ass machete he was swinging around

  51. orclev5734

    Hmm… I was expecting it to be one of the ones picked for the Grindhouse sequel, not a standalone. Not sure it's going to be good enough for a full length movie. That was part of what was so great about the two movies in Grindhouse, neither one was really good enough to be a full length movie, but as mini-features they're perfect. As an aside, I saw the "full" version of deathproof on the DVD, and I'm really glad they picked the cut down version. That extra 30 minutes or so of footage really didn't add anything to it, and made it seem to drag on a lot longer.

  52. Vic

    Yeah I could see where that could be an issue. I haven't seen the extended version of either of the movies from Grindhouse but figured that would be an issue. It might drag out as a movie but I still think it'll be funny and as a direct to video movie you can enjoy it at home and do other things even if it does drag out.

  53. orclev5734

    I believe the episode you're talking about was the one that had the lyrics to ground control to major tom as the opening scene.

  54. aj5558

    Actually… I think by panel 4, you have a likeness akin to Steve Buschemi.

    Guh… and I sit chained to a computer all day, the thought of having to sit through an eleventy-hour LOTR marathon just kills.

  55. hijinksensu5337

    PRECIOUS-ON, APPLY DIRECTLY TO THE FOREHEAD! PRECIOUS-ON, APPLY DIRECTLY TO THE FOREHEAD! PRECIOUS-ON, APPLY DIRECTLY TO THE FOREHEAD! PRECIOUS-ON, APPLY DIRECTLY TO THE FOREHEAD!

  56. hijinksensu5337

    Yeah then DirecTV deleted it from my HD package and asked for more money.

  57. hijinksensu5337

    Thanks for coming to check it out. The AC was integral in the initial development of the comic. I learned a lot from those guys. I actually stopped posting when they stopped giving advice for improvement and just started saying "cool" or "looks good."

    I didnt want it to seem like I was posting just to get kudos.

  58. hijinksensu5337

    Oh to watch LOTR with Whedon. My tiny heart would burst.

  59. hijinksensu5337

    Dont make me turn this website around!

  60. hijinksensu5337

    It was. I watched ROTJ last night.

  61. adam_myatt8577

    Theres nothing I like more than watching Star Wars with Girls Gone Wild commercials in HD! "ZOMG! was that girl kissing that girl in the Slave Girl Leia Bikini!?"

  62. iptydafu8334

    Dude, now I've got the low self-esteem.

  63. aaron6928

    I know they're showing on Spike. Other than that I don't know if they're doing a marathon. I really can't sit through the re-edited films and I certainly can't sit through episodes I-III.

  64. aaron6928

    I don't know what the exact story on the film stock is. If it's true that's a shame. I'm hoping someone saw what Lucas was doing to the original films and took the original stock somewhere safe away from him. Once he's passed on it'll resurface and whoever becomes in charge of the franchise will allow the original films to be released in HD.

    I know that will probably never happen but I want to keep the dream alive. There has to be something more than the poor transfers of the laserdisc versions onto DVD.

  65. denise6217

    Universal HD also ran episodes of Arrested Development. Tasty!

  66. king_zilch6474

    Oh yeah…and Firefly. It's a channel that serves no other purpose than to bring you stuff that's awesome, in the best possible HD presentation. They've had the best movies on there, too, like Almost Famous (which I've seen so many times I literally wore out my DVD*, and still spotted stuff I'd never seen) and the Back To The Future trilogy. All uncut!

    *and by "literally" I mean LITERALLY, not David-Cross-"I literally shit my pants"-literally.

  67. larnsturt6109

    Lucas has everything locked up in that crazy mountain mine-cum-ginormous vault in Pennsylvania is what I'm guessing.

  68. larnsturt6109

    This is why being poor sometimes makes me weep. All the other kids get HD TVs and six million channels…

    Then I remember I'm debt-free and life ain't so bad any more.

  69. Chad

    Hey, sweet, I've got a doppleganger!

    Do my bidding, minion.

    Oh yeah, and I have the feeling that a topless comic shop would do very well. An escapist quote comes to mind, but I forget it.

  70. Orf

    Word, brutha.

    The Man isn't keeping this cat down with his HD pablum!

    (weep)

  71. Overlord

    Hey, used to read your comic when you posted it on the Artist's Corner on Penny Arcade, it's awesome that you've got this far, congrats :) It looks like you've improved alot.

  72. king_zilch6474

    Jooooel! Larnsturt's making me feel bad! Make him stop!

  73. mysterioust5403

    You kinda look like the Chupacabra.

  74. Lo

    Isn't Spike only doing "Star Wars Sundays" now? they had the past two weekends for Eps I-III and Eps IV-VI, but they didn't do any straight marathoning.

  75. deanhatescoffee

    I'll second the ID issue. It's weird.

    I'll also second the "stick 'em in a stew!" remark.

    Damn, John Darc, you just about read my mind. ;)

  76. deanhatescoffee

    I concur. Hell, even now after parenthood, I'd still try to get in on that action.

  77. deanhatescoffee

    Is the secret handshake anything like THIS?
    http://nowscape.com/mormon/handshake.htm

    (Crazy-ass Mormons…) (jk) (kinda)

  78. deanhatescoffee

    Man, I'm glad you guys mentioned Universal HD and that it has Firefly. Now I can finally watch it and see what the hubbub is about. I actually forgot that I had that channel, as well as HDNet and HDNet Movies, so thanks!

  79. mysterioust5403

    The pirate episode made me pee my pants.

  80. hijinksensu5337

    I guess they can't really. #1 Lucas would NEVER release the un-fucked-with versions and two, the best version they have for the transfer is the original laser disc copy. Wasnt there something about them losing the original film stock?

  81. mysterioust5403

    agh you be right on. New venture bros episodes 6/1/08 I believe.

  82. ellecee9105

    So THAT'S why there wasn't shit to do all weekend. Damn my non-tv watching self.

  83. mysterioust5403

    the one where they're on the boat and there's some ghost or something haunting the ship just as pirates take over or smething like that

  84. orclev5734

    Yeah, that's the one. The opening of that episode is almost line for line the lyrics to the song ground control to major tom. Also, the ghost in that episode was major tom, the "pirates" where cruise ship employees, and they got rid of the ghost by calling in Dr. Orpheus and if I remember correctly Major Tom's wife, or would that be widow.

  85. Zombie

    Where was this?
    WHERE?
    Why does my local theater not do this?
    My god!
    What state do you live in?

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