COMIC & BLOG
iTUNES FEED
EMAIL JOEL
The head’s name is Jor L. Ron
![[Bloglines]](http://hijinksensue.com/wp-content/plugins/bookmarkify/bloglines.png)
![[del.icio.us]](http://hijinksensue.com/wp-content/plugins/bookmarkify/delicious.png)
![[Digg]](http://hijinksensue.com/wp-content/plugins/bookmarkify/digg.png)
![[Facebook]](http://hijinksensue.com/wp-content/plugins/bookmarkify/facebook.png)
![[Google]](http://hijinksensue.com/wp-content/plugins/bookmarkify/google.png)
![[Reddit]](http://hijinksensue.com/wp-content/plugins/bookmarkify/reddit.png)
![[StumbleUpon]](http://hijinksensue.com/wp-content/plugins/bookmarkify/stumbleupon.png)
![[Twitter]](http://hijinksensue.com/wp-content/plugins/bookmarkify/twitter.png)
![[Email]](http://hijinksensue.com/wp-content/plugins/bookmarkify/email.png)
The Tom Cruise Trilogy (as it will forever be known) has come to it’s logical conclusion… that L. Ron Hubbard was a human vessel housing the soul of an evil alien Galactic Emperor, and Tom Cruise made a baby (emphasis on “made” because I’m thinking there was a space lab involved) in order for him to recorporialize and dominate this sector of space. Logical.
Truthfully, read that first paragraph, then read up on Scientology. Is it ANY crazier than what they actually believe?
I’m glad this trilogy is over and I can get back to making fun of Lost and Steve Jobs and Star Trek, etc, etc. Glad only because the concept of Tom Cruise as a magical super hero was starting to consume my being. I would wake up in the middle of the night, tearing at my flesh and screaming Tom-comic ideas at the moon.
Here are a few that I considered before going with “The Fortress of Scientologitude“:
- L. Ron is Darth Siddious, Tom is Anakin, Thetans are Midichlorians. The story writes itself. Tom strangles Katie Holmes with his mind and she dies during silent child birth. Tom fights (I dunno) Val Kilmer on a lava world and his scorched remains are transplanted into a cyborg body. “NOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooo!”
- L. Ron is Vigo, the Scourge of Carpathia. He lives in a painting and he wants to posses Katie’s child that he may rule for 1000 years. There’s a river of pink slime under the city, yadda yadda yadda, and Tom Cruise pilots a beheaded Statue of Liberty to save the day. This is similar to the direction I went but had great potential for for a Bobby Brown theme song over the end credits.
- Tom is the Commander of a disputed space station orbiting a war torn planet, and he is also the emmisary of their wormhole dwelling god-aliens. L. Ron is a Cardassian military leader that rose to political power during war time, and Katie is a refugee from the occupied planet turned resistence fighter. Ummm…John Travolta is a shape shifter with unknown origins, and his people have an army of mind-programmed clones. Let’s say Kirstie Alley plays the station.
Honestly, this one wouldn’t have been funny because it’s too close to the truth.
I want to make a desktop from the Tom Cruise Trilogy. Any suggestions? I also REALLY want to do a podcast. Would you listen? Let me know.
Tags: celebrities, scientology, superman, tom cruise
January 31st, 2008 at 1:31 am
Ok, see, as terrifying as Jor L. Ron is, the statement “There is LRH head in the near future” sounded like a prophecy of getting a hummer from ol’ Elron. And then I had to scrub my brain with bleach for an hour to get the thought out of my head.
January 31st, 2008 at 5:47 am
HOLY PLOT TWIST!
January 31st, 2008 at 6:56 am
L.Ron’s Head, Suri being L.Ron’s new vessel…..where did I hear both of these from before? Oh, right, my comments on your blog! I feel like I should get a co-author credit here!
Just teasing. Great comic. You rock, as always.
January 31st, 2008 at 9:00 am
I love that Tom’s crying, then immediately afterward he’s shooting red electricity from his eyes. I also love the Fortress of Solitude setting – extremely appropriate. Now that I think about it, I wouldn’t really be surprised if Tom had a Fortress of Solitude or a Batcave or something that he uses as a retreat.
January 31st, 2008 at 10:00 am
Pfft. Saw it comin’
January 31st, 2008 at 10:07 am
I posted that the child was from L.Ron’s seed, its kinda like a vessel right? =P
January 31st, 2008 at 11:21 am
For a wallpaper, I’d go with a shot of the Twin Towers, now safe thanks to Tom Cruise, with Tom flying the plane to safety with his magical eagle in the foreground and the ghostly image of L. Ron in the backgound, smiling.
Also, fit a Shark-Splode in there somehow.
In fact, just make a wallpaper of a Shark-Splosion.
January 31st, 2008 at 11:27 am
Must have podcast.
January 31st, 2008 at 12:23 pm
So, anonymous is going to do an IRL raid on Scientology… That’ll be interesting.
Also, a podcast would be awesome.
January 31st, 2008 at 12:31 pm
Dude…you’re kinda scaring me. I know Scientology is weird and evil and….all kinds of fucked up. But you need to let it go man. You’re losing it dude! Come back to us….
…
and yes I’d probably listen to a pod cast..
January 31st, 2008 at 1:03 pm
Wrapped the trilogy up nicely.
Also, a podcast would be a good. Only if the random spurts of stupididity and bad taste continue.
January 31st, 2008 at 3:27 pm
Infasis=infant emphasis?
January 31st, 2008 at 9:03 pm
You took that to the naughty place. Plus what they are actually doing is far more sinister than a BJ.
January 31st, 2008 at 9:04 pm
Also, Bruce Willis was dead the whole time.
January 31st, 2008 at 9:06 pm
The weird thing is, I had already scripted this part. I was a little freaked out when you posted that comment. That said, ANYTHING posted in the comments is fair game.
January 31st, 2008 at 9:07 pm
According to holy Scientological scripture, its EXACTLY the same thing.
January 31st, 2008 at 9:07 pm
More like a hollowed out volcano shaped like his own head.
January 31st, 2008 at 9:08 pm
If you paid attention from the beginning, it was pretty obvious.
January 31st, 2008 at 9:08 pm
Im thinking Shark-splosion.
January 31st, 2008 at 9:10 pm
AGREED! Working on the details now.
January 31st, 2008 at 9:10 pm
Im off the junk now. It was starting to get in my head.
January 31st, 2008 at 9:11 pm
Stupidity? Bad Taste? I challenge you to find even one example of….
January 31st, 2008 at 9:12 pm
Yeah, you provoked me to run a spell check on that post. Infasis was the LEAST erroneous offense.
January 31st, 2008 at 10:37 pm
I totally disagree I love all of the Scientology stuff. Their so messed up you have to laugh at them, their excellent fodder. It would be awesome if you worked them into the main sequence in a few pieces. I love your comics.
February 4th, 2008 at 12:13 pm
Ive been following the anon stories on Digg. I hope it ends with a battle to the death between anon and miscaviage.
The POdcast is up for download now!
February 4th, 2008 at 12:16 pm
Jeremy,
Thanks for the comic love! Im going Scientoloy cold turkey for a while.
February 4th, 2008 at 7:44 pm
I just have one question. Do Scientologists really believe this? After reading like the fifth paragraph of that what is Scientology thingy I thought it was some elaborate joke. I was just waiting for some guy to come up to me and say “surprise your on candid camera”
February 4th, 2008 at 8:03 pm
Short answer = yes. From what I hear they dont tell you about the aliens until you are too far in to get out. You are basically 90% brainwashed and 100% financially broken before they drop the h-bomb (as it were) on you.
February 4th, 2008 at 8:59 pm
WHERE’S THE NEW COMIC, EGGMAN?
YOU SAID THERE WOULD BE A NEW COMIC!
February 5th, 2008 at 9:38 pm
Wow. I kinda feel sorry for these people. but, then again they kinda want to believe this bullshit
February 5th, 2008 at 11:18 pm
Chad, I dont know why I’m Eggman (a sonic reference?)
Huevos?
Anyway, I said there would not be a new comic monday and in its place you get a podcast. New comic on thursday. Sorry if there was any confusion.
February 6th, 2008 at 7:16 am
This makes me very sad.
Very sad indeed.
: (
February 6th, 2008 at 8:07 am
On an unrelated note, what do you think of the Kindle?
February 7th, 2008 at 2:11 am
#1 REJOICE FOR THE NEW COMIC IS UP!
#2 I thought ePaper was stupid until I actually saw a sony ebook reader. Its fucking amazing. It looks just like paper. Super lo-res paper. No glare and no brightness or eye strain. I could totally see myself enjoying that technology….later. This is something I will not be an early adopter for. The Kindle business model is sound. The free wifi network is fantastic and should be exploited in other realms of technology. The hardware itself is ghastly. Just hideous. I’ll jump on the ePaper train when its far more common place and more content is available on a wider range of devices. Thanks for asking!
February 17th, 2008 at 6:49 pm
Thanks for the warning.
February 18th, 2008 at 3:54 pm
Yeah, dont post your A material here. I will rip it off so fast…Ive never actually done that.
February 5th, 2009 at 11:36 am
Wrapped the trilogy up nicely.
Also, a podcast would be a good. Only if the random spurts of stupididity and bad taste continue.
February 5th, 2009 at 11:36 am
Ive been following the anon stories on Digg. I hope it ends with a battle to the death between anon and miscaviage.
The POdcast is up for download now!
February 5th, 2009 at 11:36 am
Jeremy,
Thanks for the comic love! Im going Scientoloy cold turkey for a while.
February 5th, 2009 at 11:36 am
This makes me very sad.
Very sad indeed.
: (