I was more impressed when I thought it said “milliseconds”

Josh and Eli invited me to the new “Rambo” movie, but the 24 hour baby sitting service I use doesn’t exist so we had to pass. A fellow Corn Mo fan at RumorsDaily.com posted a Rambo Death Chart. It’s a special movie if a Death Chart is a useful record keeping tool. “Driving Ms. Daisy” did not require such a chart.

This is my favorite part:

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(click for original via /Film)

Josh emailed me late that night with his review:

start with the crazy violence in Ricky-Oh, only using modern techniques that basically make it look real, then multiply that by about 100, you get the new Rambo.

FUCKING.

AWESOME.

Me and eli were freaking out in the theater it was so sweet.

–josh

This paints a picture of school girl enthusiasm that I envy, rather than pity. I’ll also take this opportunity to make sure that anyone who enjoys a good TERRIBLE kung fu movie that makes absolutely no sense and is completely perfect in every way knows about Ricky-Oh“, or “The Story of Ricky”.

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This is a minimal amount of blood for Ricky-Oh.

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I won’t spoil what happens to this guy.

If you can’t find a copy of this movie (and I suggest you try), you can see the short version or just the dead bodies on YouTube. Josh showed me this movie the first time we hung out, thus setting the stage for our entire friendship.

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9 Comments

  1. In the short time that I have known Josh, I never saw him so happy as he was when watching Rambo obliterate Burma with an H-bomb. It was almost magical.

    Spoiler: I think Rambo killed all of Southeast Asia.

    • You’ve actually never seen him happy at all. What you witnessed is the ONLY way he can experience joy. The rest is a sham.

  2. Ricky punched that guys punch off! LMAO! I can’t believe I’ve never heard of it before. So over the top – so good. From what I can tell, Ricky Oh is basically like Monty Python meets Enter the Dragon with a hint of Evil Dead and Gallagher-style theatrics. Now THAT’S my kind of movie.

    I love the guy who strangles Ricky with his own intestines, as well as all of the scenes that featured someone bleeding. (Yes, I mean all of them.)

    • Dont even try to comprehend it. The movie is even more surreal when you watch the whole thing and try to figure out the “story.”

  3. In the short time that I have known Josh, I never saw him so happy as he was when watching Rambo obliterate Burma with an H-bomb. It was almost magical.

    Spoiler: I think Rambo killed all of Southeast Asia.

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