Less Cylons, More Dick Jokes
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August 27th, 2007

Less Cylons, More Dick Jokes

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Kevin Smith is set to direct an episode of Battlestar Galactica during its forth and final season. This could go either way. On the one hand, he’s obviously a fan so he will probably geek all over the script and try to do it justice. On the other hand we might see Baltar go to a donkey show, or Adama get tricked into having sex with Helen Tigh’s corpse.

The more I think about it the more I question the producers’ motives. Never once have wondered what BSG would be like if the dialog revolved more around “ejaculate” and what one might do with said “ejaculate” when in the presence of, let’s say, your mother.

He’s also doing an episode of Heroes Origins where he’s not only writing and directing but also creating the character. I’ve got some predictions on who is hero will be and what abilities they will have:

  • Comic book nerd. Born with a wedgie proof ass. No crack.
  • 16 year old boy with super stretchy neck for auto-fellatio
  • Fat guy with a beard that wears a Batman Suit. No Powers.
  • Ben Afleck

Special thanks to everyone who voted for HijiNKS Ensue in Joystiq’s Weekend Webcomic Whimmy Wham Wham Wozzle. Look for a new comic on Thursay (and hopefully every Mondy and Thursday from here on out).

Update:

As I’m sure you’ve heard, the Kevin Smith BSG is NOT happening after all. A reader brought to my attention KS’s own take on the subject:

Kevin Says:
September 4th, 2007 at 8:29 am Well, Kevin Smith himself said on his blog that he’s NOT directing any BSG (even though he wanted to). Apparently there was a conflict.

“I get a message that “Battlestar Galactica” producer Ron Moore’s called, so I return the call and he tells me he’s sorry my directing stint on his program’s not gonna happen.”

http://silentbobspeaks.com/?p=346

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^ 11 Comments...

  1. Jacob
    August 27th, 2007 at 12:02 pm

    Haha. The thought of Edward James Olmos muttering “I’m not even supposed to be here today!”

    Love the comic, keep up the good work.

  2. william
    August 27th, 2007 at 1:28 pm

    Can’t stand Kevin Smith, hope he doesnt ruin my favorite show.

  3. Joel
    August 27th, 2007 at 2:12 pm

    @Jacob

    Yes, his gravely whisper would be perfect for that line

    @William

    His movies might not be your thing (or mine) but he is geek through and through. I dont think Ron Moore would give him the reins if he wasnt capable.

  4. Kevin
    September 4th, 2007 at 8:29 am

    Well, Kevin Smith himself said on his blog that he’s NOT directing any BSG (even though he wanted to). Apparently there was a conflict.

    “I get a message that “Battlestar Galactica” producer Ron Moore’s called, so I return the call and he tells me he’s sorry my directing stint on his program’s not gonna happen.”

    http://silentbobspeaks.com/?p=346

  5. Joel
    September 4th, 2007 at 8:35 am

    @ Kevin

    Yeah, I saw that. Too bad. I was actually looking forward to it. I will update the post with that link.

    Thanks!

  6. Battlestar Galactica » Blog Archive » Battlestar Galactica Quicklinks for Sept. 11, 2007
    September 11th, 2007 at 9:57 am

    [...] Hijinks Ensue presents its take on what an episode of Battlestar Galactica directed by Kevin Smith would look like … the panel of President Roslin saying “Snooch to the Nooch” [...]

  7. JAFB :: Hey, Starbuck
    December 11th, 2007 at 1:52 pm

    [...] Try not to frak anyone on your way to the flight deck. [...]

  8. Online Joke of the Day
    November 25th, 2008 at 11:14 pm

    Thank you for reminding me of that great joke. Great minds think alike!!! Do you care if I link your post on my blogroll?

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  10. Tim
    June 18th, 2009 at 6:02 am

    OMG i have Never laughed so hard, jesus, thats totaly Fracin' awesome! thank you for making my day, and doing a questionable content, otherwise i would have never found this awesome comic!

  11. hijinksensue
    June 18th, 2009 at 6:41 am

    Glad you liked it Tim. I had fun with the QC guest comic.

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