Josh Reviews Transformers: The (other) Movie

Joel: was that [the transformers movie] any good
Josh: yes
Josh: and by yes, i mean no
Joel: are the robots in disguise?
Josh: the movie is entertaining enough while you are watching it
Josh: and then as soon as it’s over you realize you hated it
Joel: most movies are that way
Josh: most movies i hate while i’m watching it
Josh: this movie was fun and exciting and when it was over i realized it was the most shallow thing i had ever seen on film
Josh: by several orders of magnitude
Josh: the movie is fucking schizofrenic
Josh: it doesn’t know if it wants to be serious or tongue-in-cheek
Josh: any humor not involving Shia leBouf is dreadful. Extremely cringe inducing
Joel: youve sold me
Josh: the robot designs make no sense in motion
Josh: when 2 of them are fighting you can’t tell what’s going on at all
Josh: you barely get their names. most of them never talk, and the ones that do are fucking annoying
Josh: except for Optimus
Josh: Bumblebee was pretty cool but still manages a bit of inappropriateness
Joel: robot cock?
Josh: yes
Josh: robot cock
Josh: i’m not kidding
Joel: i’ll take two
Josh: bumblebee throws an oil filter and pisses oil all over a guy
Josh: from his crotch
Josh: there’s an awful long scene about masturbation
Joel: Unicron Masturbation?
Josh: no
Josh: shia lebouf masturbation
Josh: and the awkard parental accusation thereof
Joel: “You’ve got the TOUCH!”

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