Yes, Jack Shephard, there is a Santa Claus
Perhaps you’ve heard of the plight of little Tommy Westphal. His father and grandfather just didn’t understand his autism, so they locked him in a room, beat him with extension cords and made him watch St. Elsewhere.
This comic marks the 3rd and final in my LOST-centric series. Why does Josh get to play the regressed man-child TV-tard? (I literally answered the question in that sentence) Because he’s been a consummate cheerleader for LOST. Even in the dark times, the pointless times, the unnecessarily confusing times. He always assumes there has to be a plan. All of this will pay off someday, right? It will not.
LOST is your drunken boyfriend. When he’s good, things seem generally OK. There might be a future for the two of you. But when he’s bad you get two black eyes (he must have told you twice) and side-plots about hunky Brazilian diamond thieves. One of these days, LOST is going to go too far and your going to end up the subject of a Lifetime movie staring Meredith Baxter-Birney. LOST probably has a second family in Orlando.
Related Comics & Posts
June 5th, 2007 at 12:52 pm
Sadly true analogy, and kickass comic. Shame about those tightasses at the lost forum who banned your polar bear rape comic because it’s offensive. Yeah, because Polar Bear Rape, it affects us all.
June 5th, 2007 at 1:38 pm
@Required Name
Holy shit, I just saw that it was removed. Human rape is NOT a joking matter. Ursine rape is, however, hilarious if only for the sheer physics it would entail. Someone getting their panties in a bunch over bear-rape only adds to the hilarity. Mission Accomplished! Maybe I should censor and repost: “You’re friend gets A SENSUAL BACK RUB from a polar bear.
Thanks for reading and for the feedback. Look for new comics week-ish-ly.
June 6th, 2007 at 1:12 am
oh c’mon, the diamond thief episode was AWESOME. it was pure fan-service. Clearly their initial introduction didn’t receive the love from viewers that they’d hoped for, so they wrote them out, acknowledging how fucking retarded they were in the first place. plus they were pretty craftily ret-conned into the whole thing. so fuck off, i loved that episode
plus we got to see Arzt again, he was awesome.
June 6th, 2007 at 6:01 am
@Josh
Yes, they were servicing the fans… forcibly from behind (in a non-consensual manor).
As for the ret-con, I can’t wait until they reveal that Charlie bought smack from Paulo after a show in Brazil, Nicki was Christian Shepard’s mistress, and they were both under James Ford’s bed when his father did the whole murder/suicide thing.
Seeing Arzt was cool, but not cooler than seeing him gib on the rest of the cast.
June 6th, 2007 at 2:04 pm
I do hope the prediction about the robot assassin comes true. Sun’s baby should get an ice gun, too, and then freeze Jacob and say something along the lines of, ‘cool off’
June 6th, 2007 at 2:11 pm
@Required Name
I’d rather the baby run up to Jacob and say:
“I’ve got good news and bad news. The good news is we’re getting off the island.”
“What’s the bad news?”
“Me.” (BLAM! BLAM! BLAM!)
June 6th, 2007 at 3:53 pm
How comes your drawing of Jack and Hurley are so spot on and yet your drawing of Sawyer is like a real doll with a fiver?
Also, I just found this comic as the emails you were sending out were getting junked… problem solved- nothing to see here. Kick ass site though. I dig. Or Digg?
June 6th, 2007 at 6:18 pm
@Mikey
I’ve always been a “Real Dawyer” (Real Doll/ Sawyer) shipper. This is what their love child looks like in my fanfic graphic novel.
June 7th, 2007 at 5:28 pm
Actually, I’m sure there would be a high demand for Real Dolls that are based on popular genre tv shows.
7 of 9
Xena
Kate from Lost
Carol Seaver
June 7th, 2007 at 9:29 pm
@Mikey
#6
Willow & Tara (as a set)
The widow Zoe
Weezy Jefferson
August 27th, 2007 at 12:04 pm
This is the one that made me a subscriber.
August 27th, 2007 at 2:46 pm
@ Jacob
Thanks! I didnt know if I could cram any more references in this one. Glad you liked it.
September 27th, 2007 at 4:02 am
[…] caught the premier of Heroes on NBC this week. They are pulling a LOST and introducing new characters before dealing with the ones I actually give a shit and a half […]
December 19th, 2007 at 1:09 pm
[…] 2. Lost – because I just need to know (particularly good Lost based comics can be found at Hijinks Ensue) […]
January 30th, 2008 at 10:18 am
[…] I started Hijinks Ensue last May with the idea of making fun of geek culture, especially TV. Lost was one of the first shows I tackled. Check out those early efforts here, here, and here. […]